Tuesday December 24th^th, 2013

 

Man, I’d be in trouble if I had a daily deadline, I’m totally slipping….and detaching….part of not writing in here so much is that I am now, quite often, engaged in updates over the phone, face-to-face, wherever, as to how I’m doing…..feels like addressing it yet again in the blog makes it more ever-present.

Fact is, end of this month is 17 months post treatment, and I’m doing great.  I’ve had 3 PET or CT scans, and 3 ENT nose/throat probes with a little camera and I’m coming out with flying colors every time….and I’m continuously humbled.

My radiologist told me to my face that I am in the top ONE PERCENT (1%) of the 500 cancer patients he has treated in his career. He says my recovery is so much swifter than anyone he can even recall right now. That’s me and 4 other people……out of 500. I still live and will most likely live with some built-in issues now, but they are certainly and most definitely manageable, and an easy trade-off. Can you believe that? It is in large part because of the energy of this communication transmission, and the support I received from all of you….along with a fair amount of work from me and my family, of course. I never thought I’d hear myself say “I am the 1%”

We’ve done a lot since last I wrote, a wild Halloween here with 1,000 pieces of candy given away, a sold out Town Hall show with Fleetwood Mask tearing it up. So much fun…..we have Petty Theft coming in for 2 nights January 31/February 1---Super Bowl Weekend…..saw a Niner game, fall colors, a fun family Thanksgiving, and the ensuing Christmas season.

Sam made the freshman basketball team and is rolling through his pre season schedule, with local tournaments and across a bridge travel games.  So, I’ve been diverted.

This holiday season (and I’m still holding my breath) ideally won’t have the same issues as last, my back totally tanking one year ago tonight. The worst back pain I’ve ever had. This past year, with the help of my healing acupuncturist, I am back and in action…..just so happy to be here now, enjoying life and the lives of those around me….

The main problem with creating gaps in between posts is that so much goes by….I want these first two years to go by quickly, because this cancer usually re-appears in the first 24 months, so this is a key period….but way down inside, I just know we kicked its ass,  and that it is all behind me now.

So, to that, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas (Happy Holiday Season) and a Happy New Year. I wish you all peace and joy, AND good health. Check back in “next year” and we’ll see what’s going on then.

 

Go Niners!

TS

October 12^th, 2013

 

Time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the future….we are now at 14 ½ mos post treatment, and it seems I’ve got a few things I’ll need to live with, a new reality so to speak….NONE of which are anything close to major game-changers, if viewed with perspective.  There is light swelling in the neck upon awakening, parched morning dry mouth, an inability to savor ice cream or chocolate, not enough saliva to work a good salad and an extensive long-term burn on the neck keeping me from sporting my moustache goatee deal, thus the current soul patch. That can all go in the interest of the greater good.

I am a very lucky man. I am blessed, supported, cherished, inspired, and as we move forward actually more adept at smelling the roses that I was before all of this began. On our descent from Lake Aloha and it’s 9,500 or so foot elevation in the desolation wilderness back in early August, I had a frank, candid fluid and spiritual conversation with my neighbor and friend John Bruel. John, his wife Sally and their 3 boys spent 3 years in the Dominican Republic on a missionary journey to impact and improve the lives of many, many people. They were sent by THEIR angels, Sally as a nurse and John as a savvy technical spirit, and the work they did there can humbly be called an assist from above. They live an abundant life with all that they give.

Our conversation, in that spiritual high ground, mixed John’s feelings to mine, which covered different religious influences, Jesuit philosophy, Christianity and the belief that God is in the air, in the trees, in the lake, even in the wings of the circling hawks….he later gifted me with a book I am certain I both read and dissected in Father Becker’s Literature class at SI in 1973. Needless to say, it now begs a second reading, and at John’s urging, I am now engulfed.

To that end, God is in my neighbor, Matt Chaney, my first friend when I moved to Lafayette and my greatest inspiration. “Chane-Dawg,” as he is more than affectionately known around these parts, has been living with ALS for 13 years, the symptoms of which first appeared when he kept mysteriously dropping his guitar pick. I cannot begin to describe what he and his inspiring life have meant to me, my family and our community at large. His motto on the ALS wrist band I have worn for years is “Never Give Up,” and he lives that minute to minute. He and his muchachos have created shortcuts in ways for Matt to remain integrated in life….let me share an example. There is a new/old game called Cornhole, where you toss small bean bags towards a ramped wooden platform, the goal being to get it in the hole. Equal parts horseshoes and Fascination (Santa Cruz Boardwalk) it is a fun back yard game. A couple Fridays back, in a little Happy Hour scenario, Matt challenged me to a game. Let me begin by telling you Matt’s arms and hands for the most part, no longer work, so he tosses the bags WITH HIS FEET! I won 21-17, but I ain’t bragging. He was this far from beating me WITH HIS FEET, the ones that have the toes that change the TV remote and type his eloquent, humorous and thought provoking emails.

There is zero doubt that God is working through Matt for the insanely over-the-top benefit to individuals, family and the surrounding community. Happy Hour with Chane-Dawg is a very descriptive term.

Musically, I have been inspired by the words teachings and attitudes of Jimmy Cliff, who I saw at the Fillmore last month, the same Jimmy Cliff who holds the dubious honor of being the only performer I’ve ever missed while holding tickets, last September of 2012. He, along with a select short list of other acts, has provided the inspirational musical soundtrack to my life, and he did not disappoint. Tears of joy streamed down my face as the Father of Reggae music put it all out, dead center 20 feet away. Yes, God is working through him, too.

Kiki and I had the chance to enjoy a Furthur show at Berkeley’s Greek Theatre with Lori &  Bill Walton a couple of weeks back. Furthur is Grateful Dead alumnus Bob Weir and Phil Lesh’s band. Filled with friends for decades, the bowl was an inviting place to re-connect with many, from the comfort of the soundboard. Bill and I were able to relive our Grateful Dead touring days from the ‘80’s and ‘90’s  together again in story and song, with glances and smiles, winks and nods that spoke volumes without volume. You want a definition of quality time, that was it. We grabbed them at the Oakland airport in the morning, got them back there post-show, and we all four loved every minute of it. Bill has been mentioned many times before in my various missives and do know that for inspiration, support, guidance and the imparting of the coveted “championship mentality,” there are few equals. And we both know that without saying a word. Oddly enough, Lori & Bill saw Jimmy Cliff the same week down in San Diego, BW calling it one of the best concerts he’s ever seen (that’s saying something, he has huge numbers) and Lori expressing her surprise that Jimmy is black. We all had a good laugh at the one!

Finally, I had some recent appointments with my Ear Nose & Throat guy as well as my Oncologist, and all is well. Just had my 3^rd scan post treatment, this one a CT scan and I am still boasting an NED diagnosis, No Evidence of Disease. The oncologist however, warns about cigarettes and alcohol and how susceptible my mouth is now. The former has never been in the equation but if he’s telling me my Kona Longboard Ale’s are in jeopardy, well, we gotta talk. Beer tastes good again, has for many months now, but waking up to my cacophonous forest aviary in my extended yard remains the priority, so we’ll continue to monitor that situation. Film at 11 on that item…..

The Bongo Man Has Come.

TS

 

September 2^nd 2013

 

Labor Day already, huh? “Summertime done, come and gone, my oh my”…….man, I don’t know how I slowed my life down so drastically last calendar year to attend to my health, my fatigue, my pain……but I did….and just like a trampoline, life came springing back twice as fast. You all know I am Johnny Energy, so shutting it down last year was both a trial and a lesson.

Something tells me I am making up for lost time now….in early August Sam and I, along with two other Dads and their sons, Sam’s classmates and high end “bros,” took an Alpine hiking/camping trip up to Lake Aloha in the Desolation Wilderness. We started with a boat trip across Echo Lake and then the ascent began….and didn’t end for 3 hours. I had 35 pounds on my back t’boot.

Needless to say, I trained hard for this trip, as best I could, in the hills behind my house, at the Club on the bike, swimming, and then do that all over again. Understand that in March/April I couldn’t get up the stairs at my office without big time help from the hand rail…..my sciatica had taken all my leg strength away in my left leg, which is still thinner and weaker than my right. But trudge ahead I did…..Sam had gone with these folks last summer when I couldn’t walk to the front door. I was DETERMINED to make this trip with my son, before he started HS, and to myself as a challenge that I put out ahead of me as a goal.

And I did it…..remember, we had to come back down….as Tom Petty says….”coming down is the hardest part.”  But it wasn’t a race, and we took our time, and completed this Alpine camping affair with flying colors. Plus, we squeezed in a monster day hike on the full day we were up there, sans pack but at 9,200 feet, so there!

Hell yes, I’m proud of me. And Sam was so happy to have me, I know it. I hope he too was proud. It was great getting coached and encouraged by him, kind of a change of duties, since I’ve been doing that to him all his life.

So, there was a high…..I’ve got another high, but have to touch of some lows/realities in the words to come as well……my next high comes from a friend previously mentioned in the blog, Karl Noonan. Karl was my boss at the bar when I worked in St. Thomas back in ‘84/’85. He was a member of the undefeated Miami Dolphins 1972 Super Bowl team, a wide receiver and a very special man. He, too, has been challenged by cancer, having overcome some nasty stuff in the past couple of years….do you remember, his was the name I put on my Stand Up To Cancer card in Game One of the World Series last year….the same night Pablo hit the 3 HR’s, the same night Sam put MY name on his card right next to me.

Well, “Noons,” just had a very special day, a day he calls one of the greatest of his life, when the Dolphins were hosted at the White House by President Obama just a couple of weeks back. I was SO happy for him, so proud…..champions joining together to share, yet again, relative perfection. There he was with his brothers, missing a few now, but together again in jubilation. Sure wish I could’ve joined him. Karl Noonan, #89, forever a champion in the books, and to me.

Sam started HS this past week, on a high, excited, reunited after a lazy summer with a few trips in it….basketball and the open gyms start up soon. He’s out of shape, but willing to wake up with me at 6:30 on Labor Day to head to the gym and get 300 shots in…..we have seen Mickey McConnell, since graduated and Beau Levesque and Treaven Duffy from the St. Mary’s Gaels over there working out, so Sam gets that champions beat the roosters to the feed…plus, they remember him from his ball boy duties and love to watch him grow.

So, the house has been on a high, we are empowered by our friendships, my big Client Appreciation Party on July 28^th when Kiki’s band, Dream Posse, tore it up in the backyard to a catered affair…..I am so thankful and grateful for my health, my ability to hack my way through “Truckin’” and laugh about it.

I am one blessed guy, and examples of why surround me…..when I was diagnosed last winter with cancer, our neighbor and Kiki’s friend for 30 plus years, Kim Webb was also diagnosed. Hers was a very aggressive form of breast cancer that had advanced quickly and hit her hard. After a brief remission, it came back with a furor two months ago, and shockingly, took her life on August 20^th. She was 54 years old. She leaves behind her husband John, and 3 sons, the youngest of whom started his junior year the day after his Mother’s services…..read that again…..shit. We drive by her home with sorrow and sadness every day, multiple times, in disbelief and shock, wondering how the boys will move forward….what to say, what to do, they are still in shock and frozen in their tracks.

So, the other two people diagnosed within 30 days of me last year have passed away, John Bacchini from SI ’75 and now Kim…..it scares me.

I was the recipient of another CT scan last Wednesday, results of which are due Tuesday. I figure if it was bad I’d have heard, but I do await the call with some mild trepidation…..also knowing it is in my rear view…so it balances out…..but now, to the most pressing topic, my brother from SI ’75, Jerome Williams. I have known Jerome since basketball try outs in 1971, and later a debate class, where TS met his match. Jerome can talk, persuade, cajole, caress and magnify with every word….but he has a devil in his body now, an aggressive prostrate cancer that affects African American men way, way worse than their Caucasian counterparts, and has limited him in some of his options. He needs twice the prayers I did, and I am asking all of you who faithfully follow me to jump on board and help….help, help….send him a card, tell him he can do it, encourage him to keep working and NEVER give up.

Cheryl & Jerome Williams

353 Holloway Drive

SF CA 94112

 

Let’s blow his mind and inundate him with mail. Tell him you’re on my team, and now you are on HIS. The power of the handwritten note is huge, it helped me so much, so please, to my angels, take a minute and encourage him and Cheryl…….you have no idea what it will mean to him.

And don’t forget Mark Petit referred to in an earlier blog. He is in Boston and is going through the HPV cancer that I did, but having some severe symptoms and has a battle on his hands. Mark-Petit.blogspot.com Help him too.

Hell, help everyone you see, just help. Open a door, say hello, thank someone, write a note. Be that person.

 

It’s getting to be time for Kick-Off,

TS

 

July 20^th, 2013                   

 

I simply cannot believe it has been so long since I last posted any info…..I’d be a bit surprised if any of you were still checking in….but my old roomie and dear friend, Bob “Bucko” Dennis just blasted me today for NOT posting, so I have succumbed.

Gonna be hard to pull in all the slack, so I’ll hit the important stuff….note that I didn’t say highlights, cause that isn’t the proper terminology.

I have been connected with a guy out in Boston who has the same cancer, and has begun treatment about a month ago. Same stuff, little different treatment. I encouraged him to post just like I have done, and he did. They are treating him a bit differently, from all indications a tad more aggressively, if that is even possible. His name is Mark Petit. His blogspot address is

http://markpetit.blogspot.com/

He’s battling, and working hard. He’s the first guy I have been able to reach down and try to help up the mountain, the first guy with this same cancer. His approach isn’t the same as mine, he just got his feeding tube, and he is struggling. Feel free to check in with him and tell him you’re on my team and that he can do it.

Back to me…..the end of this month will be ONE YEAR since the end of treatment. I have been told that time will pass in such a way that you’ll look back and wonder when you were even in treatment. I’m not there yet, but coming up on a year is great. My radiologist told me this past week that my recovery is in the 98^th percentile of fellas with this cancer. He doesn’t see this kind of improvement till sometimes 2 years out.

I feel good. I am back at the Club working out, sweating hard, getting my leg stronger after that almost 5 month bout with sciatica…..that was a bitch, and took me seriously off track. We got our vacation in June, over to Wailea, Maui with my sister and her family along with Mary & Matt Kircher and their family. That was a beautiful thing, I spent my birthday, June 14^th, up on the top deck of Mick Fleetwood’s (Fleetwood Mac’s drummer) restaurant watching the sun set over Lanai and listening to a cool band with Kiki while Sammy watched a movie back at the Pioneer Inn. That might have been the greatest exhale of my life, other than the one in March where I was told I am currently showing NED….No Evidence of Disease. We stayed there one night while waiting for the clan to arrive and transfer over to the nicest house I’ve ever stayed in on a point in Wailea. Thanks to PA & Matt for winning the OLA auction and treating us.

We also recently returned from San Diego for a long weekend, stayed at Club Red (MY moniker for Bill Walton’s home and grounds) in Balboa Park. BW graciously offers his home to our family at every turn. Kiki and I stayed in the “Grateful Dead Room” (imagine that) while Sammy and his buddy alternated between the “Bob Dylan Room” and the teepee out in the desert part of the grounds. The garden is maintained by the same folks who tend to the San Diego Zoo, so at any time, I’m looking for a chimp to swing from tree to tree. He also has the world’s greatest spa, with waterfalls, rocks, caves, OH MY. That was a great getaway. Some of you saw us in the front row behind the plate TH night, and then we took in Lincecum’s no-hitter on Saturday night, after enjoying a wonderful dinner with Billy Kennedy, my classmate from both SI and SCU, an old friend and arguably the greatest heckler I have ever known. Most of my stuff is original, but I will tell you that Billy was my greatest influence!

A couple of realities….anxiety….still get it, still cope with it, the net net is that as I have mentioned before, my “hourglass” has turned over and I realize I am now living the rest of my life…..the anxiety is weird, fleeting, but understand, definitely NOT winning out. I’m eating well, if not more slowly, I have my weight at about 180, and am reading a book we ALL should read called “Younger Next Year,” by Chris Crowley and Henry Lodge MD. These guys talk about what it really takes to live into your 70’s and 80’s in a healthy, happy and fit way. It takes all the perception we have about what we would consider exercise and turns it on its head.  We are simply fooling ourselves if we think walking on a golf course or taking the dog for a walk is doing the trick. These guys are about heart rate and more. I can’t describe how motivational it is….or maybe depressing, depending on how you look at it. Check it out, I urge you, especially the fellas reading this blog.

It’s the fitness thing I missed, not to say I was fit (not by this book’s definition) but just the getting out and getting the heart going. I’m up to ½ a mile in the pool at the Club, and the goal there is a mile by the fall. That’s 72 lengths, and that isn’t that easy….but it sure does beat the alternative, which I do recall. It’s a good buzz. Coupled with more stretching and throwing some weights around, it’s starting to come around.

Selling houses, and at this rate, I will beat last year, which was my best year ever! So, that’s exciting. Hosting a big group at ATT Park for Grateful Dead night on August 5^th, Bill will be back up for that as the grand host, and lots of my tour buddies will be with us.

My last blog closed with a reflection on John Bacchini, who we lost in April…..sure as shit, I’ve got another sick classmate from SI ’75, Jerome Williams. Jerome has been like a brother to me for many, many years, and was one of my very TOP supporters this past year. Now, he needs y’all’s love and prayers, as he has an aggressive prostate cancer that he has only recently learned of…..he has a major battle on his hands, and this one has hit me square in the gut, hard…..I love Jerome and his beautiful wife Cheryl. He is the cat that organizes our annual trip to see Tower of Power….his folks hailed from New Orleans where his mother sang and his father played the drums and jazz trumpet. He is currently working on scholarship programs for African American students in San Francisco that wish to attend SI. He is a leader, an inspiration, a lover of life and a deep thinker. He is my brother and I pray for him every day. Those of you who know him know what I am talking about….to those of you who don’t, can you send some of that great juju you sent and continue to send to me, and parse some of it over to Jerome? He needs it more than I do now. Surgery, chemo, radiation, it’s all on its way, and he needs the love. Do it for me, and do it for ‘Rome…..he’ll feel it, cause that’s how he is.

Thanks again, Bucko, for getting me to the keyboard, and thanks for reading all the way through.

Signing off as TomCat,

May Day, May Day, May Day!!!!                                                                                                       5-1-13

 

Remember Sam “May Day” Malone in Cheers? Today is his day……Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now a hair over 9 plus months out of treatment……rolling down the highway.  I’m doing soooo much better than a year ago at this time, knee deep in the 3^rd round of chemo. Objects in mirror are actually farther than they appear……

The port is out, you should have seen that thing. It looked like a little mouse, had a good sized raised spot they aimed the needles at and then it went down a tube that had been inserted in a vein going to my heart. That’s what all ports do, they have to get to the blood subway system. Didn’t debate the topic for long as it went in the trash that evening….I’m a collector but c’mon, not this thing. Still have the gargantuan mask that they pinned me down with every day, but the port is outta here. The mask could end up being a pretty cool piece of art if it ended up in the right hands…..

Opening weekend at AT&T Park was off the hook. We won OD 1-0 and got a calendar. We lost on Saturday but got a Buster Posey MVP Bobblehead, and got smoked Sunday but it didn’t matter one bit…..we got a ring……quite possibly the greatest fan giveaway in the history of Western Civilization. Many of you saw Kiki and I on local TV last Monday night showing off our bling on Comcast. Evidently we got hella air time……it helps to hang around with beauty, but I thought I looked pretty good, thanks to all of you who sent video and photos. Of particular note were my new (as of late 2011) implants…..what you say…..yes, new  teeth, #8 and #9 also known as the front teeth. They were broken in a Little League soft toss warm up by our league’s version of Dave Kingman. He hit that sucker so hard off the fence that it came back at hyper speed……broke em under the gum, so that was my 2011 deal. Dr. Dan Barry, DDS and SI ’75 came to the rescue and did some great work on #7 and #10 while he was at it…..shout out…..back to the rings. As my seat neighbor said, “I have 14 years of paying for a Charter Seat, 2 tickets every year, that I feel a part of it all, this is so apropos, I’m wearing it EVERYDAY!”

He’s right…..and my twist is that it signifies a reward, a championship ring for going through all that we, as a family, went through in 2012. That whole baseball season, as anyone who has followed this knows, was what got me through, the rhythm, the consistency, the joy and eventually, the wild abandon of celebration, after 6 times facing the brink.

The whole thing is NOT lost on me, so yep, I wear mine EVERYDAY too. And it’s awesome.

Our 4^th seat that day was occupied by grammar school classmate Dr. Tom Hales, Burlingame High ’75, Stanford ’79, Case Western ’83 and currently living in Cincinnati. He was out to visit some family and took that bling BACK to Cincy, where they were just a Buster Posey Grand Slam away from getting smoked by the Cards!

Trust me, that’s the ONLY SF Giants ring in Cincy.

Watch for an email blast about a video Kiki has been working on celebrating just that season and that victory…..it’ll be on YouTube soon and we think you’ll really like it. Mote info soon come.

And finally, a prayer and some reflection for the life and times of John Louis Bacchini, SI ’75 who we lost in mid-April, succumbing to a valiant battle with an aggressive cancer. John’s treatment paralleled mine, and I last saw him at our SI Class lunch at Alioto’s in December. He was brave and fighting it hard then, and gave me great support. Now, I remain and John is gone. He was larger than life, a big man and the center of his community in Burlingame, a passionate member  at his parish, OLA, the leader of his ‘50’s and ‘60’s doo-wap band, Johnny B. and the Speedshifters, the best Dad to his 19 year old daughter Emma and a successful realtor on the Peninsula. The church was dark on a Friday night, hundreds of candles providing light and warmth, and there was an overflow topping out at about 1,200 people…..lucky for me, Rita Arnold was with me, herself a 5 year out cancer survivor, and we went through it together, John being her old friend and neighbor…I am inspired by John’s life, enriched by our common brotherhood, moved by the Jesuit ideals under which Johnny B operated, and saddened beyond belief for the absolute best friends he left behind, Julio, Jim, Ed, En-Cat, the guy had 20 people who would say he was their best friend…….that’s rich…..

Yep, that one got to me, folks, there but for the grace of God go I……and none of those left behind get to come with you……just miss you, mourn you, celebrate you, remember you, toast you, pass you on……kinda like Springsteen when he crowd surfs…….just don’t drop him!

Tile the next time, thanks for reading,

Way down in Louisiana close to New Orleans,

TS

March 25^th, 2013                                             8 Whole Months Outta Treatment

 

Hey Now Everybody,

 

Man, time does fly……in a good way this time. I just hit the 8 month mark, with my sights on the 2 year mark. With the HPV-16 virus, if it comes back, it does so quickly, and that is why we are so diligent right now. As you all know, the November PET scan showed NED---No Evidence of Disease…..in February, I went to my ENT Doctor and he scoped down my throat and saw nothing. He is the Doctor that ID’d the original tumors after the biopsy, so he has the tools to see the dang things. So, that cleared up. My Radiologist likes how I look, how I am filling out, up to 175 now, my SI basketball playing weight. Working on re-distributing that a bit now.

The topper is that just a week ago I had a second PET scan and it too came back NED! So, milestones are occurring and we are moving down the line. I am now in the process of scheduling the removal of the port in my upper chest that fed me the chemo cocktails. We wanted to wait till the 2^nd scan showed NED. I look forward to the removal of the port, it is a tell tale reminder of things and it’s blowing my trip a little bit now.

Want some fun news? I have been quite active, with Sam and Kiki…..Kiki and I hit NYC and saw the Allman Brothers Band at The Beacon Theatre at 75^th/Broadway. They played quite possibly the greatest set I’ve ever seen them play. Like the Grateful Dead, every show is different and we only heard one repeat over the 2 nights….and that was Statesboro Blues, hardly a throwaway. Kiki connected with a LONG lost friend from Philly before we traveled and went down to hang with her a couple of days post shows. As usual, we were treated to some nice inside activities through our band’s connection, and we are blessed to have experienced what we did.

I was able to attend a party a couple of weeks back that had so many of my SI brothers there  in celebration of Erin & Bob Enright’s impending parenthood…..I love these guys, so energetic and supportive. 5 guys from our team in 1975 were there…..a band of brothers, quite similar to the ABB noted above….McCat, O’Cat, Lou-Cat, En-Cat, TomCat…..

Sam and I headed down to San Jose to take in 6 games of the NCAA tourney. Yes, 6…That was a long day last TH…..we saw Cal beat Vegas, Syracuse beat Cal and a bunch of others. Good seats AND tons of guys I knew circling around the Shark Tank……fins to the left, fins to the right……

The back is improving, strength is returning to my leg, but there are remnants of sciatica, pains in the knee and calf…..but certainly manageable at this point.

Closing 2 deals THIS week, a listing is coming mid-April and the wheel keeps rolling….not enough houses, anywhere, in any Bay Area county, so keep me in mind if you hear anything J

To those of you that keep checking in, I can’t believe you and I appreciate it. The process of being a survivor takes work, too. I’m ready and willing…..see you on the flip.

 

I Got One More Silver Dollar,

TS

 

March 6^th, 2013                                                                                 7 plus months outta treatment

 

Where do I start?  I am rolling back into things steady freddy…..concerts, coaching, selling, traveling…..it is all bundled in. Lighting out with Kiki to NYC on Friday morning for a quick weekend with the Allman Brothers Band at the famed Beacon Theatre at 77^th and Broadway…..they are simply the best right now, rivaled in America only by the E St Band, and they, and that, is a totally different conversation. The ABB is just flat out low down dirty, growling, majestic, soothing and inspiring. I understand our seats for FR are in the first couple of rows, back a little bit on Saturday.

Our guests Saturday eve are my gals from NBA Entertainment who take such good care of Sam and I when we head off to NBA All Star Weekend…..which we did mid February. On a jaunt to Houston, too close to New Orleans, Sam and I had another bacchanal of basketball, hanging around the tall guys….Sam worked the restricted lobby like a pro, getting the autographs of the rookies, the slam dunk competitors, the 3-point competitors and ideally, the idols….again, just a bump into LeBron, he wouldn’t sign jack, but there he was in the flesh.

The Sunday Legends Brunch, the highlight of the weekend, featured the famous Houston Rockets of the past, Hakeem, Clyde the Glide, Rudy T, Dikembe Mutumbo, Calvin Murphy…..the speeches were inspiring, the room just packed with the history of the NBA at every table. Bill Russell, Barkley, Magic, Moses Malone, Rick Barry, Dominique…..everywhere you looked, a Legend.

Sam’s a good little traveler, a good wing man, sleeps quietly, doesn’t stay out late! We have a blast…..next year, New Orleans, and he’ll be 14 ½…..what a quandary….we have time to figure that one out.

The back is better, acupuncture did it. Took a good 2 mos, and I am still managing it with a little Aleve and Ibuprofen. Handled the plane to and fro to H’town, JFK is next.

Sold two houses this week, one in February, and I am battling for another one in Rockridge right now. SCORED one for an SI alum and his beautiful wife (all SI guys have beautiful wives, you can look it up) via a tip from a neighbor….popped by while walking Jammer, he agreed to allow my clients to come over the following day. He is a broker, sold it to me at an agreed upon commish (standard) and voila, a sale in the hood without ANYBODY hearing about the house. One of my best works, for sure.

The market is fast and furious, and securing one for these buyers was a stroke of luck, to be sure. Remember what I told you in the past about my angels? Well, they descended again and blessed me….keep your eyes open, they’ll come into your day or night when you least expect it….we all have ‘em…..

Saw the radiologist this week, the ENThroat guy two weeks ago…..they all like what they “don’t” see right now….got a PET Scan scheduled for March 14^th, when that shows clear, I will have them remove the “port” in my chest they used to feed me the chemo. I’m ready for that to come out. My biggest risk of recurrence, by a long shot, is the first two years. I am 7 mos into that, and the goal is 5 years clean…..that will coincide with a 60^th birthday, so celebration will be in order.

Still got to admit, there is a still lingering anxiety about the overall deal….I work on it from time to time, not always, it just pops up at weird times…..the perspective here is that I am being poked, scanned and viewed WAY more often than you, so I am ahead of things in terms of anybody finding anything weird….it is an expensive way to fly, but I’ll hit the deductible soon….keeping the weight seteady in the mid 170’s, which is 25 under my prior weight….as strength returns, so will muscle and then a few pounds. I am tapping into ALL of my patience genes and hanging on, but should be returning to workouts, some yoga later this month. I’ve been swimming some, and that is nice.

Not on this BLOG enough, but I know y’all are out there, so here’s a bit more to chew on. I’m sure it sounds like I’m back in the swing of things, and from 5,000 feet it looks like that…..doesn’t always feel that way, but I am getting better.

Till next we pass upon each other, know that I still feel you all out there. I am humbled daily.

I Can’t Give it Away on 7^th Avenue!

 

TS

February 1^st, 2013                                                                           Milestone--- 6 mos outta treatment

 

Wow, where do I begin? When last I typed, I was bellyaching about a bad back….well, it is still with me, but I have seen major improvement, through the help of acupuncture…..I haven’t had acupuncture performed on me since the mid-‘80’s. Back then, I was experimenting with it for many of the same reasons, but stopped when I got a little paranoid about the Castro St office and the news that this new AIDS virus was transmitted by needles, and where I was receiving treatment was literally in the heart of the new epidemic zone. I thought best to be cautious and so I ventured over to chiropractic.

This time, my healer has encouraged me to stay patient (arrgghhh) and stick with her program, eschewing chiro for the time being and letting her calm the nerve as opposed to work it….so I am, and it is getting better.

I will tell you that with the advent of the new calendar year, I was eager to put 2012 behind me and get going in a positive fashion……that didn’t happen, and frankly, it got a bit depressing. Weird that I got a bit more bummed about a physical ailment than about dealing with the daily rigors of cancer treatment. But anyone who has warriored through a sciatica issue knows…..anyway, I am lightly stretching and sticking with a regimen of flexirol and Aleve……sleeping just fine, just tightens after too much sitting.

Lots to crow about, though. Kiki and I got our rock and roll party started this year with a weekend trip to Vegas to see Santana at House of Blues. I have been itching to get down to see this show for a couple of years now. Carlos sold his home in San Rafael a couple of years back, used my old buddy Brian Byers to list the home, and packed up for Vegas. Go figure. So, he plays extended runs at HOB and lets the country come see him as opposed to incessant national touring. Makes sense on paper. Called the Santana office, cashed in a chip and had a pair waiting for us at Will Call. I must remind everyone that doesn’t happen if you screwed up in Rock and Roll, and I am proud to say that I came out of 20 years in that business in good stead with everyone, and will take it a step further when Kiki and I go to NYC in March to see the Allman Brothers Band at the Beacon Theatre on Broadway……their office will work out front row balcony one night and 3^rd row center the next. They are, arguably, the hottest American rock and roll band on the planet right now. They don’t come west of the Mississippi, so the NYC shows are much like what Carlos is now doing….we’re here, you’re there, you come here to see us and have a good time while you’re here.

Our flight to Vegas lifted off at the same time as the Niners kicked off to Atlanta, so when we landed we made a beeline for the sports bar at McCarron airport……folks from all around the country, and lots of Niner fans. We got two bar stools front and center to one of the TV’s and watched the second half in a celebratory fashion. That was gut wrenching AND fun! Put $100 on SF giving 4 at the Paris sports book. Wish me luck.

Came home Tuesday, and wasted no time in turning the car southbound on 680 to San Jose to see Jackson Browne at the SJ Civic which has been re-habbed and holds about 3,000 folks. Intimate, acoustically sound, lotsa bars, just splendid. He was tremendous. He played 6 or 7 requests from the crowd, varying from his set list. Voice was strong, had a nice 4 pc band with a 6’ 8” guitarist who sat on a stool most of the time. His music took me on a 35 year journey, and I’ve got a mind to see him again this week up in SF at the Nob Hill Masonic. Gotta tell ya, I give him a 10….and I’m tough, and my back hurt, but I’m holding to the 10.

From a merchandise perspective, he sold something I’ve never seen done before. He cut his hotel room “keys” (the plastic credit card kind) into guitar picks and sold them for $5.00 each. You could clearly tell it was the Fairmont, so my friend Kelly and I walked over and had a final final just in case he had to come back. Next time we know! A genius idea, wish I had thought of it.

The week of music continued with a sold out show at our local Town Hall Theatre, where so many of you came to support our Music Festival last year. We had Petty Theft, a Heatbreakers cover band, pack the place, and the night was perfect. We auctioned off a couple of my personal Petty vault trinkets along with some donations from Wolfgang’s Vault, and the guys tore the place up. So much fun. Our next one is March 30^th with the Unauthorized Rolling Stones, and I expect the same results!

We will culminate this musical run with tonight’s show at Yoshi’s with THE tightest band in America, Tower of Power. It is an annual trek for the SI guys and our gals. Jerome Williams gets us the tix and dinner ressy’s so after dinner we have 8 tables reserved in front of the stage and the band is 5 feet away. Two of the band members, David Garibaldi, the greatest trap drummer in the world, and Mic Gillete, sax/trombonist both played in our wedding band 16 plus years ago, so it will be good to see them. After the first show, they clear the house and then we go back for the second show, this time in the second row. It is a great night with my basketball teammates and ’75 classmates, my true brothers, part of my heartbeat……Juan Mitchell, Tony Passanisi, Mike Malekos, Danny B., Dan Kelleher, Jerome…..these are guys I can’t live without. Tonight is going to be great, and we know ALL the words…..just hope Juan doesn’t sing along to “You’re Still a Young Man,” it is very embarrassing.

And the cancer stuff…..well, it is a long recovery…..my doctor said I will have “gains” and then plateau, then rise up, then plateau…..I get that, that has been happening. I’m simply anxious to begin to put a bit more weight back on and tighten up the core….that will come after the back settles, so I think swimming is going to be the first step on that journey…..and, sadly, I got an email from a dear friend last week who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Surgery and maybe chemo is on the slate, and for the first time since I was diagnosed I am able to reach out my hand and help. She read this blog religiously, her family encouraged me, and now it has turned inwards. She reached out to me before her family, looking for the words to use to convey what was happening, because it is hard to do if you haven’t done it before. I have a gift now, the navigational chart necessary to help others. Yes, a gift. I think of her daily and she knows we’re here to help……when you don’t know what to do, just remember Jackson Browne’s words, “sometimes the touch of a friend is enough.”

February 2^nd marks the one year anniversary of my diagnosis. I’ll take a long walk, call a couple of you out there, and then go sign a new listing in Lafayette on a $1M dollar house……”the wheel keeps turning and you can’t slow it down……”

To those of you still out there, thanks for following.  You are my south wind……go Niners!

What Is Hip?

TS

January 3rd, 2013                                                            

 

Happy New Year, one and all. Hope the holiday season was a winner for everyone. With the tree coming down today and the ornaments et al going back to storage, I guess it’s time to zoom into 2013….my problem is, I’m not zooming much. My back went haywire on Xmas Eve, laid me up in bed all day Christmas Day, which for me, this year, was quite the bummer. I had really hoped to celebrate in a more reflective, positive way, but writhing in pain in the fetal position wasn’t what I had in mind. This was the worst my back has ever been, and I know what I did, lifting something I shouldn’t have.

I’m simply not very strong right now in the mid-section/core area. I lost a lot of muscle this past year, and putting it back, strengthening the area, is a major focus of mine right now. For now, believe it or not, I’m back on a couple of meds, with sciatica pulsing in my calf and behind my left knee. So weird.

Kind of a lazy week as I shuffle about the house. The goal here is to be better next week when things pick up, folks return home, and ideally sellers determine it is time to sell. We need homes on the market, buyers are chomping at the bit.

 

Saw Furthur at Bill Graham Civic on the 30th. Gave me a chance to re-connect with Lori and Bill Walton. Bill was Father Time on NYE. Anyway, the hugs I got from those two are still warming me, so earnest and full of love. I hadn't seen them since 12-30-11, before all of this nonsense happened, so the chance to be together again was sweet. Spent a couple of songs with them, high atop the crowd on BW's perch. Good to be "home" again.

Anyways, thanks for all the good wishes over the holidays with your cards and calls. Let’s see what this year brings…..i do know that each day is a gift now, so that’s how I am going to try to treat it.

Peace Out,

TS

4 ½ Months or so after Treatment ended…………………………………………December 19^th, 2012

 The bright December sun shone down on the fishing fleet berthed at the Wharf, awaiting the OK to go and get them some of those pesky crabs, to bring to us the delectable treats we have come to enjoy this time of year. From our perch on the 3^rd floor of Alioto’s Restaurant, with the Golden Gate Bridge resplendently gold, the blue bay waters reflecting up into our eyes such that we almost need our shades inside the room, the 40 or so St. Ignatius College Prep Class of ’75 grads gathered to celebrate the season, and each other. Milling from pod to pod, hugging, backslapping and speaking a language that truly only we know…..stories flew around, recollections were shared (and corrected) and the early stages of a little day drinking run had begun.

 It was extremely special for me, because last year, to the day, when we had gathered previously, I had noticed the beginnings of a couple of small lumps on my neck. I kept it to myself, enjoyed the day with old teammates, roommates, classmates, my brothers. Why mess it up? Well, since then, the gamut has been run, and on the invitation this year generated by the esteemed Paul Totah, our leader, a Jesuit in jeans and a plaid shirt, was the message to come and celebrate to the health and recovery of yours truly and classmate John Bacchini, lead singer of the ‘50’s band Johnny B. and the Speed Shifters. John is suffering from a painful and aggressive cancer that he has under control for the moment, but for how long, who’s to say? This was all reflected in the mood a couple of Fridays past, a mood that answered the issues of the year, respectful yet joyous. Guys I hadn’t seen for 20 years came to me, telling me they had followed EVERY step of the way via this vehicle, and had been praying for my recovery. Jim Cullen said it was his weekly fix, his reality show, and he looked forward to the read each week. Retired Lt. John Goldbrg, SFPD, talked to me about how he shared it with others and how attentive he had been.

Amazing. Humbling. Gratifying.  After all these years, we are who we are, and the fellas I met at SI are tried and true.  At that moment, gazing out to the GG Bridge in the City of my birth, and 3 more generations on both sides going back, I never felt more at home.  

I saw Bruce Springsteen with my sister at Oracle on 11-30….talk about feeling at home. PA is a Bruce-Head like I’m a Dead Head, and we were lucky enough to secure our positions in “The Pit,’ a fenced off zone for the Fortunate 400…..oh, how those old connections come back into play. Bruce crowd surfed right over us during Hungry Heart, singing all the while. The night was filled with special moments, from the opening chords of Land of Hopes and Dreams to the lights up Born to Run. Emotional night for both of us, for many reasons, and we hive-fived when he sang the words from Badlands, “Well it ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive.” 20 feet away, dead center, unimpaired view, simply perfect.

I have put together a new musical mix that I am dropping off at client’s homes now, titled “Faith Will Be Rewarded.” Let me know if you would like me to put one aside for you. For those who followed this blog, many of the artists will be familiar, many of the songs right on point! If you have it, enjoy, otherwise, I’ll save one for you.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are upon us. I am thankful. I am hopeful. I look to the New Year with wide eyes, a hopeful heart, and understand that for the grace of God I go. This ordeal has been a testament to the powers of group prayer, universal healing and faith, and a lot of hard work, by a lot of people. I am one lucky son of a gun, nowhere near ready to leave this place, still so much to do. I will write goals for the year, personal, spiritual, familial and financial, and will work to attain them. It is said that only 3 % of the population bothers with goals, and this year, I will be amongst that number. Tracking progress along the way and measuring the gains……when Jerry sang “We Will Survive” I always substituted Thrive for Survive……make those goals outward, how to help another, share your skills with your community, join a board, coach a team, tutor a kid. We are all working off of our own hourglass, and we have no control over how fast the sand passes, but what I do know is that my hourglass got turned over this year, and I now see the sand passing through…..that’s enough for me to get up and get going.

Carry On!

TS

 

 

November 9^th, 2012                                                                                        105 Days Post Treatment

 

Hey Now Everyone,

I had my appointment yesterday at 3:00 PM. Aside from a couple of punch list items concerning how to better increase my salivary production et al, the results of the PET Scan were available and they show NO Cancer Cell activity whatsoever. I am currently cancer free. I will re-scan in 6 mos, and 6 mos after, this puppy will string out 5 years, out as far as responding to treatment, my body did just that!

Though my journey isn’t over, my place in time is so very positive. Of the 6 or 7 others who were in my bullpen and who’s advice I sought throughout this process, none of them have had a recurrence, so I’m planning on joining that group. As we used to tell the security guards as we went backstage at a show, “I’m with THOSE guys!” In this case, I am with the survivors!

It is a HUGE load off my back, and though I was certain I would hear that, I wanted to erase all doubt. It’s the same feeling when you’re up 3-0 in games in the World Series and you have a lead in the 8^th…..it still ain’t  over, and you still have to push forward.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you, who’s prayers and support got me through this. I don’t know if the story is over, do I continue to BLOG here, how does this end, or continue?……I don’t know, but it has been a dandy way to communicate to everyone, more than 12,000 hits to the blog, can you believe?

Again, I am humbled by all of it. Tell me what to do…keep on chatting, let it drift, transition over to a Real Estate Blog……? I’m stumped, but that will be a concern for another day. Till then, ya-freaking-hoo!

Across the Lazy River,

TS

November 4^th, 2012                                       

 Well Hey Freaking Now, if that wasn’t the wildest 3 weeks of up and downs, mostly ups…..psychedelic baseball if I might, the kind that has perfection and guile and fantasy and amazement and the pure and simple notion of breaking on through to the other side…….superstitions coming and going, lifetime memories being crafted, joy, excitement, community, bliss and satisfaction, maybe even a dash of redemption just for good measure…..so many people seeking the same result, the same outcome, the same goal, and then coming together exponentially upon the shared and calamitous moment…..throw in a pretty much private Jimmy Buffet show at The Fillmore on 10-18, where 800 of us Parrotheads had that same notion in mind, fins to the left, fins to the right in full Fillmore Pink lighting, oh my!

The family was able to attend many games during “the run.” We used to call a pack of three or six in any one town a “run” in the ol’ GD days, why not now? The only difference is that the baseball run just dangles out in front of you, always in danger of ending, drastically and sadly, at any moment……living on the brink….the Grateful Dead simply packed up and moved on, where they ever here at all?

 

There were a lot of tears shed in the Bay Area in October, mostly of joy. The Giants were my constant when I was down and dirty this year. Day games and off days were the shits, nothing to do at night, nothing to pass the time so that I could go to bed at a legitimate hour and get my much needed rest. The baseball season takes on its own personality, and we are so good, our announcers so stellar, the park so fun, that it is hard to take your eyes off the passing of the games for fear off missing something….sound familiar?

 My tears came after final out, when the joyousness of the moment, sharing it with Kiki and Sam and some very close friends and BIG fans here in Lafayette (no driving) I knew that the year didn’t have to be known as the year I battled cancer and the ensuing treatments but perhaps more the year could be remembered more for the Giants…..it took a lot of the sting out of it. They flowed when Larry Baer, Giant’s President and CEO, when interviewed in the hallway in his still dry suit and orange tie, spoke of the life lessons that this team had to offer such as and primarily, never giving up, fighting through adversity, keeping your goals out in front of you, that quitting or throwing in the towel was just NOT in the equation. My red wristband, on since Matt Chaney gave it to me when I got diagnosed, says “Never Give Up,” on it.  I haven’t taken it off since the beginning of February, which ironically parallels the first days of Spring Training…….my cancer has done the same with the 2012 season, and if the Giants can come out on top, why not me?

 We’ll all soon find out as I have a PET Scan scheduled for Tuesday the 6^th, with results known at my Oncologist appointment on November 8^th in the afternoon. I have had two prior scans. The first was the one that determined the cancer was only situated in my throat and neck……that was a good news day back in February. The second was after my 2^nd of 3 rounds of chemo sometime in late April….those results showed that the tumor in my throat, shaped oddly like the island of St. Croix, about 1 CM long (almost an inch) had been reduced to nothingness, invisible to the unaided eye, and the two bumps in my neck were down 85%-90%.......that, too, was a good news day……I’m looking to go 3 for 3….just for kicks, let’s call them home runs, so if Pablo Sandoval can blast 3 in a game in the presence of Sam and Tom Stack, then why can’t I hit three home runs, albeit over an 8 month period. Easier still, I reckon.

 

I set myself up for a mini-fall when I counted down the chemo days in memory of famous sports heroes, only to find that the 3-6 weeks post radiation stood to be the roughest of the lot, surprising and uncomfortable, painful and limiting, burning outwardly after so many weeks of being burned from the outside in. It had nowhere else to go, so it just simply reverses field and re-cooks you. My neck peeled for weeks, my feet peeled at 6 weeks, and my neck/throat is swollen even now, making swallowing hard in the AM until I’m up long enough for my lymph nodes to drain some…..so, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, I have immense fucking respect for the cancer that took life in me, so I wait to fully exhale till after I hear the good news….no champagne till you close escrow, know what I’m sayin,?

 

I want to share one story with you before I close. It was at Game One of the World Series, and I was in our Field Club seats with Sam. Earlier in the day, I had a phone conversation with my old boss from the bar in the Virgin Islands back in ‘84-‘85. He lives in Charlotte and was a receiver on the undefeated Miami Dolphins 1972 team with Warfield, Griese (his roomie), Kiick, Csonka, Jake Scott and the rest. His name is Karl Noonan, and “tree” (VI patois) years ago he went through a bout with cancer that ravaged his back. He says the scars look like he got bit by a shark on a surfboard……I had never before heard him out, got the real deets of what he went through, even though we keep in touch and communicate…..that day I took the time to really find out, to listen…….well, after the 5^th inning of the game, everyone in the stadium including players, coaches and the umps, more than 42,000 strong stood up and held aloft a sign on which they had filled in a name. It was a MasterCard promotion with MLB that whose slogan is Stand Up to Cancer……….I looked down with tears welling in my eyes at my 8^th grader’s sign that said “My Dad.”

 

Mine said Karl Noonan.

 

And That’s What’s Up,

 

TS

 

 

October 12^th, 2012                                                                           77 Days Post Treatment

 

Bless me people, for I have faltered, it has been more than 3 weeks since my last epistle, and these are my stories…..wow, what a run! I left you off at Kiki and I attending Crosby, Stills & Nash. They were better than perhaps I have ever seen them. The Fillmore is so magical, because we get to within 20 feet of the stage and just drink it in. They opened with Carry On, and the energy and thrust of the music lifted me…..it was like back in the days with Jerry and the Boys….you could hear a song like “Playin’ in the Band”  a hundred times, but then something happens in your life that affects it dramatically, and the words take on a completely different meaning.

Such is the case, as you can imagine for me, with Carry On…..cause that is exactly what I’m doing, every day…..I’m getting better folks, and a magical night with those Hall of Famers did a lot for me. They played everything except the predicted and awaited Suite Judy Blue Eyes. Next time they come, I’m buying tickets for BOTH nights, then I won’t miss a thing. Like buying tickets for 17 Grateful Dead shows on a tour. We were certain not to miss a thing! I get goose bumps just thinking of that time.

 So, at about 40 days post treatment, my feet peeled, mostly the heels and all around the toes…layer by layer. Took that in stride. Swallowing had been difficult up to about 60 days, but we are getting through that now too.

On the upside, we have weaned me off the morphine….I was at 3-4 pills (don’t ask about the MG’s, don’t know) a day during treatment, and hello, will that make you foggy? We knocked those down quite a bit, evolving to a 25 MG patch that I placed on my chest for 3 days at a time, then to a 12 MG for 2 weeks, then, POOF. DONE. My doctor said if I had pain, hit the Aleve or Tylenol, let’s put the heavy stuff behind me, and it is. I had my feeding tube removed 10 days ago too, simply didn’t need it. Donated all the equipment (drip systems, larger syringes, the balance of my canned food) to families who don’t have insurance, and that feels good.

So, I am eating just about everything. Had my first burger the other day, that went down nicely. A blessing has been that I am eating more slowly, cause I must masticate everything or it won’t fit down my swollen neck/throat. Recently, the gland areas and throat, the areas that had been attacked and under siege for the past 5 months, have rebelled after the fact and swelled up, making pills hard to put down first thing in the AM. It gets better during the day, I can get through a lunch. Mexican food is back without salsa, Chinese, my good veggies…….though I am eating much like a horse, I have only put on about 5…..call it 8. I went from 197 to a low of 167 (that was a bad day) and am hovering around 175 now, which is good. My friend Kelly told me now is the time to “re-sculpt” my body. Who knows if I will ever see 197 again? Good riddance. My target weight could be in the 180’s, and that would be sweet.

Kiki has been amazing. Her ability to understand the medical process, the understanding of what drugs do what, her advocacy when I needed to speak up and about my treatment….the why’s and how’s of what we were going through. She always had a blended morning drink awaiting me, the fridge was stocked with what I could eat at any one time, and we worked foods in as we got better. I love her for her tenacity and ability to juggle and handle the house, Sammy, the shopping, starting the day each day. She has been so special. I got cranky here and there, prone in bed often when she took off for work, but her strength helped me immensely and got me back on my feet in what the doctors are saying is WAY ahead of schedule.  And all of you, the same…..I’ve been getting jabbed recently for not blogging by folks who have my link always open on their desktop……you all humble me.

I only have one more year of coaching Sam in basketball, and thank God, I have been given the chance. It was February 2^nd when I was diagnosed, and I went to his game after the appt. He scored, defended, rebounded, dove for loose balls…..I sat in the top row, away from the rest of the Dads, and a tear went down my cheek. I simply was not ready for this to be the end, not by a mile! How could I leave an 8^th grade boy and his beautiful Mom, just poof? It didn’t work for me then, and it doesn’t work for me now. I have so much more to do, not the least of which is getting these young men ready for a full season. My voice is strong, please, someone, warn the refs!

Kiki just returned from a well-deserved chataqua to Sedona, AZ with Carla. There they simply got off on the rocks, formations, petroglyphs, arches, oh my, makes me yearn for another trip to Zion. She needed the break, I haven’t been a social animal, along with my quirks and errors, so I’m glad she got away to refresh. All you care-givers out there, make sure to do the same, keep yourself fresh for the battle at hand.

As many of you know, I had a few friends back in the day on the Boston Celtics of the mid-80’s, the champions. From that era I have maintained friendships, deep ones with Bill Walton, shooting guard and current Wizards asst coach Jerry Sichting, KevinMcHale, and Bird if I ever see him….he’ll just call ya rookie. Anyway, from that group was the equipment manager, who has morphed from that great job to a job as Springsteen’s Road Manager. Instead of washing dirty socks, he’s telling Bruce what time soundcheck is…..can you dig that? And I thought I was blessed. Well, Wayne has a pair for my sister and I on November 30^th in Oakland, I’m working on a 4 pack for Sam and Kelleher. As I type, Bruce is singing about the “Land of Hope and Dreams,” with the E Street Band keeping up…..”this train, full of saints and sinners, losers and winners, this train faith will be rewarded, dreams will not be thwarted,…..tomorrow there will be sunshine and all this darkness fades.” He is my hope, my sole single voice, my leader, my poet laurete, the voice of my heart, and I will be close and rewarded myself in a mere 6 weeks.

We find our inspiration where we find it folks……from my man Matt Chaney 3 doors down, with 11 years of ALS and yet still having the ability to bound off the couch as he and I shared Buster Posey’s Grand Slam for the ages……my sister, who went through so much with me as we grew up with two eventual cancer victim parents…we worked so hard together…..Kiki for riding this out with me, Sammy for just being a 13 year old boy and trying to find his way, for a spell this year, without his Dad. But men stepped up….Bob Enright & Bill Walton taking him on the field before the Jerry Garcia Night at AT & T, The Chaney Family for showing absolute true grit…….

I am awake, I am alive, I want to give, I want to serve, I want to help the next guy going through this nightmare…….the Jesuits teach you to be a man for others, and it stuck.  Think about it as you make your way through your day.

Faith and Good Work will be Rewarded.

TS

September 19^th, 2012                                                                                     54 Days Outta Treatment

 

Hey Now Everyone,

Sorry for not checking in, been super busy trying to get better…..things are coming along, I guess they are. Went to the Doctor on the 10^th, he doesn’t have the best tableside manner, so I gotta tell ya, he didn’t necessarily lift the spirits of Kiki or me……the end goal is to ramp down the meds, notably the morphine, which though it is being received in small doses, CANNOT be quickly ceased due to serious withdrawals….so we are scaling down, and making great progress there.

 

I’m looking for signs….little more beard/goatee/moustache growing back, weight gain, energy…..it’s coming. Believe it or not, the right side of my moustache came out of this thing horizontally sliced in half, top to bottom. So, if desired (NOT) I could grow a little “frenchy,” real thin and straight….well, in the past two weeks, that growth is working its way back down to my lip, and I am ecstatic. Just show me a sign, Jesus, just show me a sign……all I am sporting now is a little soul patch beneath my lower lip. That’s going to have to do it for now.

 

It has been a weird couple weeks since last I scribed…..still trouble getting outta bed, getting going, eating lots…..I had to cancel my Stage MC’ing at Lafayette’s Art & Wine Festival cause I was way worried about that much time in the sun, and heat…..imagine, I had to give up a mic that I’d have on stage all day intro and outro’ing bands in front of 1,000-2,000 people. I hate it when that happens. But I did go down for a spell on Sunday to see this HOT Santana copy cat band called Zebop. They are special, but I got tired in an hour and Kiki and I split to eat.

 

Sunday was a different day. Hung at home all day till about 2:00 PM then went down to see Kiki’s band, Dream Posse play. TONS of people came from far and wide to support her (and me) and we were touched. It got me fired up. Judy, Katherine, Rita, Joan, The Georges, The Carellas, Alison & Greg Vicas, Ilene Leibowitz, the Cliftons,Sue Cost and Dani Robinson, Mike and Shanon, Evie and Eric, the Pooles.  I could and should keep going. We are made our way down the street to see the Sun Kings after that. They do the best damn Beatles covers you’ll ever see, and my dear friend Drew Harrison who does the John part---(funny that a Harrison does the Lennon, huh?) worked me into the lyrics during HELP. Help is the song he played for me at the Lafayette Community Music Festival back in May and I joined him onstage to dance and sway and cry…..cause I need Help and I’m not afraid to ask for it. Net net, he got 1,000 people to cheer for me and support me in my fight against this freakin’ disease and it was beautiful. It gave me hope, energy, fire, legs, love, and spine tingling happiness…….I was with my tribe, I was saluted, I was hugged, I was loved….

That launched me into a solid Monday, which moved to a solid Tuesday and now today, Wednesday….I am getting up, getting dressed, hit the office meeting Monday, going to Crosby, Stills and Nash tonight. Perhaps I’ve turned a corner, I do know I’ll continue to need naps here and there (took one today) but the energy you have all given me throughout this process manifested itself into wind beneath my wings. I am determined to continue to battle, get out with my people, my clients, my family, my friends. EVERYONE tells me I look so much younger….that’s probably cause I don’t have a white goatee anymore.

I’m excited, people….I won’t get a scan till mid October or later, so I am still in limbo there, but we all know we killed this thing, and it is time for your TomCat to get it on and continue on my life quest to live with love, light, energy and be surrounded by my tribe at various junctures here and there.

 Kiki continues to be wonderful and supportive, trying to put weight on these bones (I’m up to 174 or so) and I am gorging on Chow Mein. Had my first burrito Monday, that stuck pretty good, even though it had no hot sauce and less flavor. And it went down with water, beer continues to be cerveza non grata right now.

 

Got a $1.4M listing this week…..I am humbled by the work of my angels. This one is conveniently located right around the corner, a family I moved in here 4 years ago. Job transfer, and they are leaving behind a beautiful, updated home with a new roof, pool, master suite, HVAC and more. In this market, it will be gone in a week!

I want to give a shout out to my college roomie and Best Man (and Best Guy) in my wedding, Dan “Harmon” Kelleher. He had his nagging hip replaced on the 11^th, and for the first time, we were both taking morphine at the same time. We were always more the beer and tequila shots guys, anyway…..hang in there, Harm, you’ll be better than ever, and you won’t have to do radiation and chemo to get better! Such a deal!

 

I’m coming around people, I’m coming around. Continue to stick with me, keep the cards coming, they are stacked 8 inches high now, you are an amazing batch of people. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t sent one yet, send one tomorrow, I’ll read it and cherish it. I have the best friends in the world, and I don’t want to say goodbye to any of them yet!

 

By the time you read this, I will have danced and cried at the harmonies of the American Beatles, CSN, playing The Fillmore tonight, and I promise you I will sing and sob during Suite Judy Blue Eyes, the anthem for my long ago fallen comrade, Bert Kirby Haverly, my Cassidy, a spirit gone way too soon, but the guy who took the time to scour the Grateful Dead Parking Lot in Ventura CA, July of 1983 and bring me Kiki (and Carla). Yes, it was Bert, and that was his song, and this will be Kiki and my night. I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are…..don’t let the past remind us of what we are not now.

I love you all.

 TomCat

 

 

September 4^th                                                                                   40 Days Outta Treatment

 

Sometimes I’m up, sometimes I’m down…..damn this thing. Let’s start with some good news. I sold a $1,575,000 house last Friday, that’ll close early October, so YAY! I brought the buyer in, an old friend from Grateful Dead Tour back in 1984/85…..he’s doing pretty well for himself, eh? He’s a lawyer in SF and really on top of his game. The home is here in Lafayette. So, that’s exciting, and important, for sure. Puts me on pace for my biggest year EVER! Hello, go figure. It’s those angels I’ve been talking about. I know I am blessed, and they show up from time to time. And guess what we found in the garage amidst all their crap…..a tray of cassettes with labels like “Ventura County Fairgrounds, July 21/22 1984,” and “Utica, NY 3-11-73.” A DeadHead lived here. I noted it on my Agent Inspection form…….just can’t figure if it’s the kids or the parents.

 

I am getting tremendous support here at home. Kiki has been stocking the fridge with items for me to eat, as I eat in stages……things for the juicer, things that I can get down for dinner, lunch. Right now it is fruits and protein shakes in the juicer, along with lots of pastas with white sauce. Chickens, potatoes, all sorts of veggies like broccoli and string beans and squash. Those are easy. Those don’t go in the blender, btw. Sam has stayed on top of his chores and that has been a big help.

The docs say my eating is way ahead of other patients. My big prob is the taste buds and the salivary glands. They aren’t producing, so it takes a lot of liquid to get things down. That can be frustrating. I have not necessarily been throwing the weight on. I still have the feeding tube which augments my diet. So, after a meal, I will ingest a can via the tube, and that is good for almost 500 extra calories. Still at about 172 and stable, so bummed a bit I can’t get up to 175 and keep it there. Maybe when burritos start tasting good…..understand that it is a challenge to keep weight on. Weird, huh? Huge kudos to Kiki for helping me on my quest to pack on a few. We have yet to run out of ice cream……

Kiki and me and some friends saw John Hiatt up at the Uptown Theatre in Napa on Sunday night over Labor Day. He was fantastic, played ALL his great songs. Honestly, I don’t know what else I would have wanted him to play. What a set list. Had musicians from Lake Charles, LA, Birmingham, and Nashville, so figure out the angles and approaches they took. Great show, great to hear some live music.

 

I want to get back to being me, get back to hiking hills and telling stories and seeing groups of friends and having the energy to get through it all….but that is not here yet, and patient I must remain. Thanks to my phone buddies who allow me to bounce stuff off them, and thanks to you for reading this…..the journey is hard, make no mistake, and I am not done yet, by a long stretch.

Next Doctor appt. is Sept 10^th. The next scan is in October, and everything rides on that. Kiki and I both visualize a clean body, just one that took a helluva beating……I want you to visualize the same thing….a cancer-free, non hot-spot scan result……..it’s powerful, and I want you to do it….just a mono-chromed scan paper with no colors!

 Love to all you all for coming back and staying behind me….send me an email, it’s cool, or post up a comment. I want to hear from you……

 

Keep On Keepin’ On,

TS