October 12th, 2012 77
Days Post Treatment
Bless me people, for I have faltered, it has been more than
3 weeks since my last epistle, and these are my stories…..wow, what a run! I
left you off at Kiki and I attending Crosby, Stills & Nash. They were
better than perhaps I have ever seen them. The Fillmore is so magical, because
we get to within 20 feet of the stage and just drink it in. They opened with
Carry On, and the energy and thrust of the music lifted me…..it was like back
in the days with Jerry and the Boys….you could hear a song like “Playin’ in the
Band” a hundred times, but then
something happens in your life that affects it dramatically, and the words take
on a completely different meaning.
Such is the case, as you can imagine for me, with Carry On…..cause
that is exactly what I’m doing, every day…..I’m getting better folks, and a
magical night with those Hall of Famers did a lot for me. They played
everything except the predicted and awaited Suite Judy Blue Eyes. Next time
they come, I’m buying tickets for BOTH nights, then I won’t miss a thing. Like
buying tickets for 17 Grateful Dead shows on a tour. We were certain not to
miss a thing! I get goose bumps just thinking of that time.
On the upside, we have weaned me off the morphine….I was at
3-4 pills (don’t ask about the MG’s, don’t know) a day during treatment, and
hello, will that make you foggy? We knocked those down quite a bit, evolving to
a 25 MG patch that I placed on my chest for 3 days at a time, then to a 12 MG
for 2 weeks, then, POOF. DONE. My doctor said if I had pain, hit the Aleve or
Tylenol, let’s put the heavy stuff behind me, and it is. I had my feeding tube
removed 10 days ago too, simply didn’t need it. Donated all the equipment (drip
systems, larger syringes, the balance of my canned food) to families who don’t
have insurance, and that feels good.
So, I am eating just about everything. Had my first burger
the other day, that went down nicely. A blessing has been that I am eating more
slowly, cause I must masticate everything or it won’t fit down my swollen neck/throat.
Recently, the gland areas and throat, the areas that had been attacked and
under siege for the past 5 months, have rebelled after the fact and swelled up,
making pills hard to put down first thing in the AM. It gets better during the
day, I can get through a lunch. Mexican food is back without salsa, Chinese, my
good veggies…….though I am eating much like a horse, I have only put on about 5…..call
it 8. I went from 197 to a low of 167 (that was a bad day) and am hovering
around 175 now, which is good. My friend Kelly told me now is the time to “re-sculpt”
my body. Who knows if I will ever see 197 again? Good riddance. My target
weight could be in the 180’s, and that would be sweet.
Kiki has been amazing. Her ability to understand the medical
process, the understanding of what drugs do what, her advocacy when I needed to
speak up and about my treatment….the why’s and how’s of what we were going
through. She always had a blended morning drink awaiting me, the fridge was stocked
with what I could eat at any one time, and we worked foods in as we got better.
I love her for her tenacity and ability to juggle and handle the house, Sammy,
the shopping, starting the day each day. She has been so special. I got cranky
here and there, prone in bed often when she took off for work, but her strength
helped me immensely and got me back on my feet in what the doctors are saying
is WAY ahead of schedule. And all of
you, the same…..I’ve been getting jabbed recently for not blogging by folks who
have my link always open on their desktop……you all humble me.
I only have one more year of coaching Sam in basketball, and
thank God, I have been given the chance. It was February 2nd when I
was diagnosed, and I went to his game after the appt. He scored, defended,
rebounded, dove for loose balls…..I sat in the top row, away from the rest of
the Dads, and a tear went down my cheek. I simply was not ready for this to be
the end, not by a mile! How could I leave an 8th grade boy and his
beautiful Mom, just poof? It didn’t work for me then, and it doesn’t work for me
now. I have so much more to do, not the least of which is getting these young
men ready for a full season. My voice is strong, please, someone, warn the
refs!
Kiki just returned from a well-deserved chataqua to Sedona, AZ
with Carla. There they simply got off on the rocks, formations, petroglyphs,
arches, oh my, makes me yearn for another trip to Zion. She needed the break, I
haven’t been a social animal, along with my quirks and errors, so I’m glad she
got away to refresh. All you care-givers out there, make sure to do the same,
keep yourself fresh for the battle at hand.
As many of you know, I had a few friends back in the day on
the Boston Celtics of the mid-80’s, the champions. From that era I have
maintained friendships, deep ones with Bill Walton, shooting guard and current
Wizards asst coach Jerry Sichting, KevinMcHale, and Bird if I ever see him….he’ll
just call ya rookie. Anyway, from that group was the equipment manager, who has
morphed from that great job to a job as Springsteen’s Road Manager. Instead of
washing dirty socks, he’s telling Bruce what time soundcheck is…..can you dig
that? And I thought I was blessed. Well, Wayne has a pair for my sister and I
on November 30th in Oakland, I’m working on a 4 pack for Sam and
Kelleher. As I type, Bruce is singing about the “Land of Hope and Dreams,” with
the E Street Band keeping up…..”this train, full of saints and sinners, losers
and winners, this train faith will be rewarded, dreams will not be thwarted,…..tomorrow
there will be sunshine and all this darkness fades.” He is my hope, my sole
single voice, my leader, my poet laurete, the voice of my heart, and I will be
close and rewarded myself in a mere 6 weeks.
We find our inspiration where we find it folks……from my man
Matt Chaney 3 doors down, with 11 years of ALS and yet still having the ability
to bound off the couch as he and I shared Buster Posey’s Grand Slam for the
ages……my sister, who went through so much with me as we grew up with two
eventual cancer victim parents…we worked so hard together…..Kiki for riding
this out with me, Sammy for just being a 13 year old boy and trying to find his
way, for a spell this year, without his Dad. But men stepped up….Bob Enright
& Bill Walton taking him on the field before the Jerry Garcia Night at AT
& T, The Chaney Family for showing absolute true grit…….
I am awake, I am alive, I want to give, I want to serve, I
want to help the next guy going through this nightmare…….the Jesuits teach you
to be a man for others, and it stuck. Think about it as you make your way through
your day.
Faith and Good Work will be Rewarded.
TS
