September 19th, 2012 54
Days Outta Treatment
Hey Now Everyone,
Sorry for not checking in, been super busy trying to get
better…..things are coming along, I guess they are. Went to the Doctor on the
10th, he doesn’t have the best tableside manner, so I gotta tell ya,
he didn’t necessarily lift the spirits of Kiki or me……the end goal is to ramp
down the meds, notably the morphine, which though it is being received in small
doses, CANNOT be quickly ceased due to serious withdrawals….so we are scaling
down, and making great progress there.
I’m looking for signs….little more beard/goatee/moustache growing
back, weight gain, energy…..it’s coming. Believe it or not, the right side of
my moustache came out of this thing horizontally sliced in half, top to bottom.
So, if desired (NOT) I could grow a little “frenchy,” real thin and straight….well,
in the past two weeks, that growth is working its way back down to my lip, and
I am ecstatic. Just show me a sign, Jesus, just show me a sign……all I am
sporting now is a little soul patch beneath my lower lip. That’s going to have
to do it for now.
It has been a weird couple weeks since last I scribed…..still
trouble getting outta bed, getting going, eating lots…..I had to cancel my
Stage MC’ing at Lafayette’s Art & Wine Festival cause I was way worried
about that much time in the sun, and heat…..imagine, I had to give up a mic
that I’d have on stage all day intro and outro’ing bands in front of
1,000-2,000 people. I hate it when that happens. But I did go down for a spell
on Sunday to see this HOT Santana copy cat band called Zebop. They are special,
but I got tired in an hour and Kiki and I split to eat.
Sunday was a different day. Hung at home all day till about
2:00 PM then went down to see Kiki’s band, Dream Posse play. TONS of people
came from far and wide to support her (and me) and we were touched. It got me
fired up. Judy, Katherine, Rita, Joan, The Georges, The Carellas, Alison &
Greg Vicas, Ilene Leibowitz, the Cliftons,Sue Cost and Dani Robinson, Mike and
Shanon, Evie and Eric, the Pooles. I
could and should keep going. We are made our way down the street to see the Sun
Kings after that. They do the best damn Beatles covers you’ll ever see, and my
dear friend Drew Harrison who does the John part---(funny that a Harrison does
the Lennon, huh?) worked me into the lyrics during HELP. Help is the song he
played for me at the Lafayette Community Music Festival back in May and I
joined him onstage to dance and sway and cry…..cause I need Help and I’m not
afraid to ask for it. Net net, he got 1,000 people to cheer for me and support
me in my fight against this freakin’ disease and it was beautiful. It gave me
hope, energy, fire, legs, love, and spine tingling happiness…….I was with my
tribe, I was saluted, I was hugged, I was loved….
That launched me into a solid Monday, which moved to a solid
Tuesday and now today, Wednesday….I am getting up, getting dressed, hit the
office meeting Monday, going to Crosby, Stills and Nash tonight. Perhaps I’ve
turned a corner, I do know I’ll continue to need naps here and there (took one
today) but the energy you have all given me throughout this process manifested
itself into wind beneath my wings. I am determined to continue to battle, get
out with my people, my clients, my family, my friends. EVERYONE tells me I look
so much younger….that’s probably cause I don’t have a white goatee anymore.
I’m excited, people….I won’t get a scan till mid October or
later, so I am still in limbo there, but we all know we killed this thing, and
it is time for your TomCat to get it on and continue on my life quest to live
with love, light, energy and be surrounded by my tribe at various junctures
here and there.
Kiki continues to be wonderful and supportive, trying to put
weight on these bones (I’m up to 174 or so) and I am gorging on Chow Mein. Had
my first burrito Monday, that stuck pretty good, even though it had no hot
sauce and less flavor. And it went down with water, beer continues to be
cerveza non grata right now.
Got a $1.4M listing this week…..I am humbled by the work of
my angels. This one is conveniently located right around the corner, a family I
moved in here 4 years ago. Job transfer, and they are leaving behind a
beautiful, updated home with a new roof, pool, master suite, HVAC and more. In
this market, it will be gone in a week!
I want to give a shout out to my college roomie and Best Man
(and Best Guy) in my wedding, Dan “Harmon” Kelleher. He had his nagging hip
replaced on the 11th, and for the first time, we were both taking
morphine at the same time. We were always more the beer and tequila shots guys,
anyway…..hang in there, Harm, you’ll be better than ever, and you won’t have to
do radiation and chemo to get better! Such a deal!
I’m coming around people, I’m coming around. Continue to
stick with me, keep the cards coming, they are stacked 8 inches high now, you
are an amazing batch of people. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t sent one yet,
send one tomorrow, I’ll read it and cherish it. I have the best friends in the
world, and I don’t want to say goodbye to any of them yet!
By the time you read this, I will have danced and cried at
the harmonies of the American Beatles, CSN, playing The Fillmore tonight, and I promise
you I will sing and sob during Suite Judy Blue Eyes, the anthem for my long ago
fallen comrade, Bert Kirby Haverly, my Cassidy, a spirit gone way too soon, but
the guy who took the time to scour the Grateful Dead Parking Lot in Ventura CA,
July of 1983 and bring me Kiki (and Carla). Yes, it was Bert, and that was his
song, and this will be Kiki and my night. I am yours, you are mine, you are what
you are…..don’t let the past remind us of what we are not now.
I love you all.
TomCat
