August 22^nd                                                                                                         26 Days out of Treatment

 

 It’s been two weeks since I’ve taken the time to update you all. It may give the impression that this thing is “over,” but that is far from the case. These past couple of weeks have been a real trip. My face and neck continued to cook from within, and the throat is still a bit sore when swallowing etc.

The major issue was and is my head, getting my head around this.

At just about the point I last updated you, emotions took over, chief amongst them was a form of depression that I have never ever experienced. I just flat out got down, and couldn’t shake myself out of it by any measure. It went counter to what I should be feeling, or so I thought……I’m done, the treatment and punishment is done, in my heart I know I have beaten this thing, why am I bumming?

Oh, I know…..I have just finished being beaten to a pulp, taken to death-like places in the efforts to remove a thing that could kill me. In doing so, I have exhausted every ounce of fight and strength in order to beat it, my insides are torn and burnt, my life is upside down, what, I’m supposed to be cheery?

Nope, not true, and this is often the case for someone in my spot, especially in the 3^rd week or so post treatment. It’s common at this stage, the nurses have seen it…….so they prescribe me a pill that goes at this, but the caveat is that it takes a week or so to kick in, and during that week, I will be tired and worn out. I started it and quit it on Day 3, cause it just whacked me. That got me in trouble with my awesome nurse, so back on it I went, and currently am. It does help “pick me up” and the terrible tiredness has dissipated……we are phasing out one of the morphine’s now, with plans to scale down others so that I can clear myself from the clouds and get back to reality. I am off at least 50% of the stuff I started with, put it that way, and we are scaling back, which is cool.

It was anxiety, restlessness, moodiness all in one. I didn’t like it, it isn’t me one bit, but I had to give in to it, to the nurses, and get with the program.

In the midst of all of this, my car flat out died, dropped a rod or piston, and will cost over $5,000 to fix. That didn’t help one bit, cause now I was/am  stranded. I drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee, this one is my second one….so the doorbell rings  the other day and it is our close friend Tracey…..she just had her hair done at Kiki’s, heard the whole story, and drove over her daughter’s 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee that they were currently selling. Can you believe that?! The same year as the one I had. We worked out the price and I will own it by tonight. The angels are at work again. I’m stunned, and that has helped tremendously in turning the tide of emotion. By tomorrow I will be able to get out and about, maybe back to the office for a bit. Get myself back in the mix. Unbelievable.

We won’t have any scans done till October, so that will have to wait as things settle down inside of me.

For now, I’m doing well, still antsy, not getting much done, but planning on adding to my workload bit by bit. I just know that I am healing every day, and that is what counts.

I love you all.

TS